Because I have a vivid imagination, I'm skilled at phone sex. Not my
favorite thing to do. If you think about it... phone sex is like self
induced manic-depression. After you gotten all hot and horny, and
excited - you find yourself by yourself - with gooey fingers on one
hand and a phone in the other ... feeling just a wee bit silly.
However, phone sex has become a useful tool for me over the years
because I've had some long distance dating situations. For some reason
men like it. I don't know any women that would ask for phone sex.
Over
the years, I've gotten so good at phone sex that I can make a man
climax while I'm in the drive thru at Taco Bell. Of course all he
hears is.. "ohhh baby.. I'm laying on the bed with no panties on... stroke that big c*ck for me.."
And when it's my turn to order my chicken Chalupa, I put the phone on mute. Hearing " uhmm ... hold on .... Can I get a side of nachos and a medium Coke with that... " can take a dude out of his zone.
Just when I thought I mastered phone sex.. I met a guy that ruined it for me... maybe forever.
The set-up
Long
story short, met this guy on vacation.. a friend of a friend. We hit
it off instantly. Spent the rest of the week together. It was lovely.
So,
for the first time, I'm down with phone sex with dude because it
brought back good vacation memories. He called me regularly from
Far-Far Away Land.. better known as Texas. One night we segway into
one of those nasty conversations. For once, I'm all in with the phone
sex, but somewhere mid- steamy-conversation, we took a strange and
alarming detour. It went something like this..
Him: "Sooo... tell me about a time you were with another man"
Me: "Huh?"
Him: "Yeah... it turns me on to think about you being with another man.."
I'm thinking.. ok everyone has their quirks.. and it's just imagination and a story, right?
So,
I start making up a story about me and an imaginary partner (... well
St. Louis Rams Running Back Reggie Bush). As I go into this story
about my fantasy with Reggie Bush... he works himself into a frenzy on
the other end of the phone... then he blurts out " I can see ya'll from the closet!! "
Skkcrrrreeeeeetttttt..... "The Closet??? Nicca what you doing in the closet????"
I'm out my zone now completely. How you just gonna bust in on me and Reggie like that? He says "W ell... that's my fantasy to watch you with another man from the closet..."
EEeewwWWhh... damn friends.. bet they didn't know this sh*t.
I
like to think I'm open-minded when it comes to sex, especially
imaginary sex. I tried, but I couldn't get past this one. Call it
voyeurism or whatever.. I thought it was down right creepy. I didn't
want dude to feel bad about opening up to me and sharing is
creepiness.. oh I mean fantasies. So I let him go on about his
business in the imaginary closet. Sure enough, he climaxed in seconds.
Needless to say me and dude didn't last
long. Not only did he become obsessed with watching me and Reggie Bush
getting it in from the closet every other night, he turned out to be an
asshole in other walks of life too! And here I am trying not to make
him feel bad about his homo-erotic tendencies.
Lesson learned here.. I don't know... some things are best left in the closet?
